Eyitayo has dreamed about her wedding day all her life. She’s always fantasized a talk-of-the-town wedding, complete with premium aso-ebi and 9-feet long wedding gowns.  A huge, fabulous event, the kind she’ll invite everyone she knows, right down to her secondary school schoolmates that she hasn’t heard from in 6 years. And this one that Chibuike proposed last week, it’s only a matter of time. 

But is that the right kind of wedding for her?

The thing is, an overwhelming majority of us think that in order to be satisfied we must have the largest, most expensive, most exotic wedding day that will blow everyone’s minds. Nigerians are also very competitive; we attend weddings and observe details and make mental notes on how to outdo them during our own time. 

But do you really want your wedding to be about other people? 

Wouldn’t you rather that your wedding would be about you and your spouse? A statement of commitment to the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with? 

Everyone loves a grand wedding, but unless you are super-rich, or you come from old money, from a family that has never known hardship, then it’s not for you. 

Here are a few reasons you should consider a small(er) wedding:

You’ll Save Lots of Money

This is the main reason you’ll want to join the small wedding train. With the way Nigeria’s economic reality is currently set up, do you really want to spend millions of naira planning an event that will last for only one day and may not bring much ROI? 

You’re supposed to be looking forward to the rest of your life with your partner. All that showoff is just stress and a fatigued bank account.

If you’re a young couple, then, chances are, you don’t have a lot of funding. Sure, your family may pitch in, but, as mentioned earlier, unless either of you comes from old money, you’ll be footing most of your bills. A small wedding means far less spending. You’ll need money to continue life with your spouse after the wedding high has ebbed.

Also, food will be

If you value intimacy, a small wedding is a no-brainer

It’s easy to get carried away with the sheer size of large weddings. Big weddings can be a rollercoaster for newlyweds. Many couples will admit that they wish they had time to connect with those who travelled from far and wide for their big day.  

If you want to be able to share both moments with your closest friends and family without feeling that you are neglecting anyone, then you’re better off with a smaller affair. You want your reception to be like a family get-together where everyone is free to enjoy themselves without any faux airs or illusions. With a small wedding, only your nearest and dearest will attend, and you’ll be able to have quality time with every one of them. You also get to be able to hug every attendee without it taking the entire day.

And oh, small weddings means little to no room for drama. 

If your invitee list is becoming a mile long, definitely have small wedding

If either you or your spouse has a huge family and your list is at 300 guests and climbing, and you haven’t even started writing invites for your friends, then you should trim it.  If not, you will forget to invite people and they will take it personally. But if you announce that you’re planning a small wedding, people are less likely to keep a grudge if you don’t invite them. You’ll feel less guilty for not including your first-year roommate.

It’s okay to fantasize about a grand wedding and if you can comfortably afford it, why not? But do you want to be lucky enough to experience the absolutely pure, calm bliss that comes with a small wedding, save money, enjoy more face time with family and friends and avoid post-wedding gbèsé? Then opt for a small wedding. Remember, just because it is small doesn’t mean you won’t have a blast.

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Views expressed in this article are those of the guest author.

Photo by Ivan from Pexels